Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Show Me the Goals, Gabby!

I want to jump up like Jerry Mcguire and start yelling, show me the goals, at Marian Gaborik. It's simple Gabby, just show me the goals. You wanted to come to New York for a reason. Sure a nice contract was part of it, but not the only reason. You wanted to be on the big stage. Well, the stage is set and the lights are turned on, baby. Here we are at round one of the Stanley Cup playoffs. A position the Rangers have not been in for two years, and three years since your last playoff appearance with the Minnesota Wild.

We will forget that six game, 0 goals, 1 assist, stinker of a series you had in 2008 against the Colorado Avalanche. That was then. Now, you are not getting goose egged by the Washington Capitals. Not these, "we just happened to find our defense on the way to the Smithsonian," Caps. No way, no how. Because you will kindly, just show them the goals.

Gabby, you will grab this moment, just like you said: “It’s big, not just for myself but for the organization... I’m very excited for the opportunity at hand, we just want to grab it…" 

You have Henrik Lundqvist and a rock steady, shot-blocking monster defense behind you. So please, there should be no need for you to go out of your way to block shots. We want you to take shots, lots of shots. Lots of those quick strike wristers that are your calling card. You will pepper the Caps goalie like a prime piece of tuna steak. You will fillet, fry and serve him up to all us Rangers fans.

When you are done, you will own Caps rookie goalie Michal Neuvirth (27-12-4, 2.45 goals-against), who is starting game one, like New York owns Central Park. After you chase Neuvirth from the crease you will destroy back-up goalie Semyon Varlamov (11-9-5. 2.23 goals-against), just like Luke destroyed the Death Star. You are Shiva, the god of goalie destruction.

So the mission statement is simple: Show Me the Goals, Gabby!

Related Articles by Categories